Post by Riju on Jun 13, 2020 23:05:42 GMT -5
I ran out of mental energy to keep fighting to survive in a game where no matter who I tried to work with and how I approached conversations, I was the one to target. I gave it my all, things in IRL got pretty intense, and I didn't feel like there was hope for me to survive longer than another round. After reading some confessionals, I actually feel totally at peace with my decision and it proves that I didn't have much of a shot. Thank you specs for acknowledging the weird cloud that followed me all game, it was exhausting lol.
I wanted to make it a lot further and if I had just one person on that tribe who would have thrown me a bone to keep trying, I would have played it. But I figured I was the vote and from what I had been hearing from other people, I figured I would continue to be the vote and didn't have it in me to keep trying...which is hard for me to admit because I never, ever essentially give up. The reality is that I'm not strong at challenges and the idol was my only shot....and to play an idol that early?? I'd have to win challenges to survive until I found someone to work with and odds for both of those were very slim from my perspective lol.
If it had been a different time IRL, I would have played it and kept fighting like hell, which is normally how I play. But I just didn't have it in me and felt like playing my idol would be delaying the inevitable. Of course it would have been fun to see how me playing the idol would have impacted the game, but knowing how unexpectedly busy/intense things got IRL...I probably would have died the next round for inactivity or something. So, yeah, that's my long explanation that probably still doesn't justify partially willingly dying with an idol, but that's what I've got for ya.
I'm really glad I got to play this game. It didn't go how I wanted, but I do think I learned a lot and that's worth something! And I actually wasn't completely horrible at all challenges?! Lol. Thanks again mods for selecting me and letting me play in your beautifully complicated game. It was a thrill and I hope I made you proud and/or entertained y'all lol.
I wanted to make it a lot further and if I had just one person on that tribe who would have thrown me a bone to keep trying, I would have played it. But I figured I was the vote and from what I had been hearing from other people, I figured I would continue to be the vote and didn't have it in me to keep trying...which is hard for me to admit because I never, ever essentially give up. The reality is that I'm not strong at challenges and the idol was my only shot....and to play an idol that early?? I'd have to win challenges to survive until I found someone to work with and odds for both of those were very slim from my perspective lol.
If it had been a different time IRL, I would have played it and kept fighting like hell, which is normally how I play. But I just didn't have it in me and felt like playing my idol would be delaying the inevitable. Of course it would have been fun to see how me playing the idol would have impacted the game, but knowing how unexpectedly busy/intense things got IRL...I probably would have died the next round for inactivity or something. So, yeah, that's my long explanation that probably still doesn't justify partially willingly dying with an idol, but that's what I've got for ya.
I'm really glad I got to play this game. It didn't go how I wanted, but I do think I learned a lot and that's worth something! And I actually wasn't completely horrible at all challenges?! Lol. Thanks again mods for selecting me and letting me play in your beautifully complicated game. It was a thrill and I hope I made you proud and/or entertained y'all lol.
