Memories of the Past!

So I've written and rewritten this so many times now. It's about as concise and positive as I can make it, which is to say, it's still wordy as hell and very negative.

Epona, we started off so amazingly. You were the friend and ally I always look forward to making in these games, and our conversation was the highlight of the midgame for me.

But then the fake-merge happened, and jesus fucking christ. I knew you were a shady bitch from the moment I met you. I knew what I was getting into by allying with you. I knew you would almost definitely betray me in the end. What I wasn't expecting was the lack of tact you had in your backstab.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate brutal honesty, but there's a nuance to how you word such a harsh reality, and you didn't. If there was nothing that could've been done to save me, or even if you had just lied about what was going on, I wouldn't have cared so much. 

Because I didn't really care about this game. That was the point; my goal this time round. I was here for shits and giggles and maybe some groans and eye rolls at the game's bastard antics, but all in all, every time I thought maybe I was the one who was gonna go home, I didn't care. Hell, it's why I stopped myself from killing Mipha in the final returnee challenge, because she was so predictable, and I could've easily gotten back in. But I didn't, because I was done. I didn't just not care about winning anymore, I just straight up didn't care to play anymore.

My vote was unanimous, several people betrayed me there, and I don't hold it against any one of them. But you. You were the only who straight up slapped me in the face and told me to fuck off. I have never, in all the games I have played, been so rudely tossed aside like that. I have no shits to give about literally anything else that happened in this game, except you.

You told me to pull. You said we would pull each other. But every time I tried you either told me to quiet down or just sunk your hooves into the ground and dragged me back down. I still have no idea what you really wanted out of our alliance. I really don't. Because every time we talked together at the end, you gave me so many mixed signals.

I'm sure after the game is over, and I can read through your side of things, I probably won't be as fucking disappointed by what happened between us, but you're the reason I haven't come back to the game on the jury. You're the reason I've walked away and just chalked this up to another game I won't be able to look back fondly at. You're the reason all the fun I was having was ripped away and I'm left regretting my choice to even bother playing.

So thanks for all of that, I guess. Maybe we can talk things out after the game is over, or maybe we shouldn't. I honestly don't know if I want to talk things over with you or just forget any of this even happened.

Deadline is fast approaching, so I guess I'm going to have to leave things here. There's a lot more I want to say, but it's just unnecessary venting, and torchwalks are supposed to be positive, so I'll leave the rest unsaid.